War and Love

While war is raging here in Israel in Gaza I'm caught between two things War and Love. Sounds crazy i know. You would think i'd be scared for my life but I'm not all that i can think about is conversations ive been having. Crazy me right?
My challenge right now is to understand another motive if that even makes sense. I have well I'll call him a friend who has a huge crush on me. But I don't feel the same way or so i think at least. Its like trying to figure out if what your about to do will change your life or your world. I can't really explain it it's just life changing. War or Love witch do i fouces on or choose?
more on this later

blogging may stop for a long while
breslevgirl-blessings always

Just one of those days or is it?

Yeah so I've been sick these past few days it's been a nightmare to say the least. Bh i started feeling better but i don't want to go back to school. Not to say i don't enjoy school my days are short and its ok not grate but ok. Yet i don't want to return mabey I'll write a post about it mabey. Anyway its tat feeling i guess of dread or fear ( plus the on going argument with about a class i refuse to attened) or its one of those days where you just want time to your self. Or is it am i trying in a way i myself my not realize that i'm trying to skip school? In truth i don't know i just miss sleeping all day
anyway off to sleep now

blessings always-
breslevgirl

The Bochrim party

So last week was my Sister's birthday and my brother's first off shoboss off from yeshivah ( ugh!!).
At the Holtzberg's funeral we met my brother's yeshivah so my mom being my mom she invited one of the guy's. Ok no problem i know i the guy was by us for succos grate guy my sister's love him always talking about the guy so why not?
Later that night or the next my sister called my brother and found out that another guy was joining us ok no problem i also know the guy he was by us to nothing to freak about. Next day I'm out with my mom were headed into the super market when my youngest brother calls. Hey mom he says *S.A called and he has no place for shoboss he wants to know if he can come over can he. Sure my mom replies with a smile knowing she's happy to have another bocher over. I smile as i step out of the car and say another to join the party. No i had no problem with any of them coming over except that one of the guy's i really like lets just say he makes me feel very out of place with im around in a good way. So i braced myself for a shoboss full of bordom why bordom you ask?
Well i don't have friends where i live i barely have any at all but still. I was happy for my sisters who did in fact have the time of their lives on shoboss i mean their favorite guy's where there. And me i sat drooling inside at the good looks of the guy i have a crush on and tryign to avoid him. Though it looked like he was trying to avoid me.
Anyway when they left Sunday night i thought about why we send the boy's away to yeshivah. No p i have nothing agesint the boy's that came but i relized i don't looked fowred to my brother coming home i look forwed to meeting his friends. Because he he's not concerned about his faliy just about his. But his freinds need a home need some love and they find that here at our home. I look forwed to the bochrim party bc i get to understand the crazyniss of it all.

The most awkward Thign ive been asked

So tonight i check my facebook and a freind who i have been chatting with asked me the flowing :
did you ever or do you still have a crush on me?
The frist thign i did was laugh and smile funny no? but now i'm stuck thinking about it. Some how i have this thing where i fall for guys I don't know i see the person. But when i see them its like i see them their feeling ect ( no i have no magic power) something just senses something about them. I watch then and can tell if their kind mean angry at life ect ( boy I'm a flop)
But this pearon is way older then me way way like in their 20's and i'm kinda werided out by him asking.
I wonder what i'll respond anyway more posts comign tonigth and soon ( more laptop time yay me ( gosh i'm pethtic))

Why us always why?

These past few days have been ones of killing and worry, prayer. It now all has come to an end with the sad sad news of the death of the chabad shluchim and other jews in the Chabad house. What hurts me the most is two things first why didn't the Indein police/army go there first. Second their death and the promise of the lubavicher rebbe that any shluchim that went out would be safe from anything. Yes India was attacked But make NO MISTAKE the Chabad house WAS A TARGET. Thats right a target to kill jews why who knows. well mabey we do because were jews. You if you read this blog even if not often ( somehow i intend to post alot but don't) you know or realize my emunah/faith are shaky. Their shaky becuse of events in my life and what i go through its shaky for many reasons but this... This just shakes it up more. It pains me that i belive sure i don't make the decsions about this world but were all the prayers and tears for nothing? it truth i don't know this whole mess could be the beggning of a war but i feel like my davning made no difference. They said that as soon as the terrorists came in they killed everyone no mercey. Everythign is so mixed up to me no its not easy being a jew and beliving believe me. Even with my emunah issues. theres so much to write about this and so much more i want to put up.
like more about Fringe poems my feelings and more but tis is frist
mat Hashem avenge their blood
breslevgirl

At long last

Its benn ages since i last wrote why i don't write more often i don't know. Things are how thy are. On mpaths.com there's a artical one all should read about respect to learner but not to ther earner.
Things in school are ok they give me a glipse into a world where the words " yes i can" really mean them and where i c an succed. Frenids i'm getting there easy it never is but... Home when you stay home from school after starting i warn you don't brother even if sick its just hell. Yes i've been keeping up with fringe and my other tv showes wrtting to. the world spins but when will it stop no one knowes.
if only i could have a jewish frum bf i could be happy will it happen before i'm in the shiduich sence who knows another qustion i wonder.
Well i hope 2 write more tomrow or soon who knows

blessings
breslevgirl

Today was my first day in school and it went really really well. Life is spinning everything just passing by. The yomim tovim were really nice i wish i wrote here more often or when i was on the pc i would cheack the blog more. But it's hard to change old habbits plus its been crazy busey. Fringe epiosdes have been going strong. I love the show i've began to notice little thigns that are part of the story but hidin in every sceane.
The world is falling apart the money crisises getting worse and not much to do about it. The bad boys who we had over for shukot more about them i hope. I'd also like to reach some of the bad girls but we'll see kids at risk is a toucy subject for many in the frum world. In the meantime is the army ideale place for girls? more on that to i hope.

i'm gana go now so blessings-
breslevgirl

Its all.....

Life ( oh how the word changes everything) is well a hike or a road trip just a very long one. One that changes along the way. We wish we knew how or what the trip was like but we don't ( Hahshem runes the world rember that) how we act on the trip deal with the hardships and make of it all. Is going to be the outcome if your nasty on the trip the trip will be a pain in the ass what you make of life is how it is. Not that in my case that will hold true everyones life is diffrint but with my brother's freind's over for the yom tov its really got me thinking about this. Plus i've been going crazy bc some guy winked at me idk why and its been on my minde non-stop. uch i don't have a head to finish this mabey in a few days.

blessings always-moadim li'simchah-
breslevgirl

Yom Kipper

The one day of the year where i'm all dressed in white and am fasting and praying all day is Yom Kipper. I'm not sure what to say about this holy day there's alot to say and its hard to put into words. Its not easy to pray while fasting and praying a long time. Its not easy to fouces but i think Yom Kipper should be about forgivingnes and throwing away the old. No i may be able to fouces bc of little kids ruuning around and being in unpleasant showes. But i can show Hahsem i love him that i do forgive my fellow man even if they don't me

Have an easy fast and a gmar tov a year full of blessing and all the best-
breslevgirl

The happnings

So much has been going on that it would take forever to write whats going on. Rosh Hshnah past i can write all about the tv showes i've seen and of corse Fringe. Yom tov went pretty well My Dragon fruit tatsted horrid lol. Today was the fast of geldyliah we comrate gedleyiah who was killed.
On to the tv showes abc ,nbc and fox have done really an outsanding job with the new epiosdes of the new seasons. Many showes seasons started up agin so i will be a bit busey watching them all. I hope to get back to wrtting yom kipper is fast on the way with sucokss not so far behind. Witch requires alot of work. Sucokss i hope will be nice we will be having many gutes ( well see how it goes)

anyway good shoboss
blessing always-
breslevgirl

Fruit

Today i went to the shuk with my parents to do some Rosh Hshamah shopping. We came across some weird fruits. Huge mango's and many other weird things. I will put up some pix i insited on getting a ( well it looked like a flower) what i later found out to be a Dragon fruit. I hope it tastes good its a bit scary.

next there was a fruit stall with many diffrint fruits some looking quite scary

A huge fish head made me ill from the smell and grossed me out just to look at it.

I still have many more pic but i think i'll save them for sun. Grate things coming up a review on fringe episode 3. My day at the army ( i got drafted) Beli neder a whole post and story about my day and the " fun" of it all. Rosh Hshanah almost here a few thughts on the yom tov. Alll coming up on breslevgirl

have a grate shoboss
blessing always breslevgirl

Bored outof my minde

Well the title says it all i'm bored yet at the same time freaking out why you ask? Well i got my army draft notice the other day and i have to report tomorrow i have to be up at 6 in the morning ( evil morning evil) i am going with prayers and emunah plus a positive attitude. i hope it goes well i have passes to pay for the bus ( Phew) no money worries a pass there and back ( yay). K so i should really be in the shower and doing 5 million other things i pray things go well. Beli neder i'll write about ok
blessings always-
breslevgirl

What does it all mean?

Exactly as it says. When we come down to it what does it all mean? At times we even ask what's the point. Things happen around us the world and everything kinds going on yet when we take a moment to sit on a bench. Like in the movies where time just stops for a moment. What does it all come down to. I was going to go on a Elul roade trip but it didn't work out. I would like if possible to go the grave of some tzadik before Rosh Hshanah. When we go and just sit and talk with Hashem we ask "what does it all mean"? Do we understand not at all ( i for sure don't) but mabey in an hour we can get some clarity. But in realiy what is life and what does it mean? Can you answer that?

more to come i hope -
blessings always
breslevgirl

Fringe

I din't put up pix with the post so here is one now

Fringe

As the new year is upon us so are new TV shows. If your like me frum but still watch many TV shows through the net then as always new shows. I love Sci-fi and this new show Fringe just tops it off.
''When an international flight lands at Boston's Logan Airport with no signs of life, FBI Special Agent OLIVIA DUNHAM (Anna Torv) is called in to investigate as part of an inter-agency task force. After her partner, Special Agent JOHN SCOTT (Mark Valley), is nearly killed during the investigation, a desperate Olivia searches frantically for someone to help, leading her to DR. WALTER BISHOP (John Noble), our generation's Einstein. There's only one catch: he's been institutionalized for the last 17 years, and the only way to question him requires pulling his estranged son PETER (Joshua Jackson) in to help.'' ( i copy and pasted this from fox's site)

The show brings a new level of science and scare but i really quite enjoyable. Episode 2 witch i just watch ( On the internet) brings a whole new story line i really enjoyed it. Yes it gave me chills but i love the show the story line explores science and the lives of the ppl involved. Walter is a scientist who many years before explored the relmes of Fringe science. He has been in a mental hoshpitiol for the past 17 years and was taken out to help solve a case weird things are happening that no one can explain.

The show is really really grate and i love it bc it intimates me ( yes i just said that) the show plays on Tuesday's i can't usually see it till a few days later but i hope to keep up with the show i a fan. Since watching the first show though it does scare me a bit i think Fringe has grate potability in store for it i hope many fan sites pop up and beli nder i hope to review each weeks show and post my thoughts about it.

As i said i will review each weeks show so here's my first review :)
The show starts off with a girl laying in bed talking to a guy while he's in the bathroom doing some weird things with medical stuff. Within a short time shes screaming in pain and something in moving in her stomach when they guy takes her to the hospitable and leaves her off there. Later Oliva who is revwing the unsolved case from the first episode ( her boyfriend jone was some crazy guy invloed in unknowen thigns) is called up to help solve the case. The epiosde bored me a bit not much i was expecting more action or more scary stuff but the less the better though i think thats what makes the show so good the scary stuff. Oliva ,Walter and peter struggle to slove the case witch you could say is still not soleved.
I'd love to write more but its late here so i'm gana run hope you enjoyed this i hope to write more

good night,
breslevgirl

Life and idea's

So today was ok i spoke with a close friend on the phone for like 2 hours that made all the difference. Life is never easy believe me i know that but there's so much that happens we rearlly stop and take a moment to think. I've come up with some idea's for a show like a tv show yes.I'm really exited about this idea becuse it really reflects the frum world. The frum world i think needs change in many ares but also to relize pepole havedrems asprations and not all of them are attnbile becuseof thesecotiy we live in. I hope that if i do the show ormabey find some prdoucer that i can really bring to the "table" what frum life is like and how many of wish we wernt frum but embrace it anywyay. No its noteasy wearing long sleeves long skrits long scoks but we do with with out thought.
Life is what we live andgo through everyday its also a pain in the ass ( no i wont take that back) there is a butey tolife we just have to find it or dig for it nope oncemore its not easy. I wish many many many times it were but i guess theres something you gain from it all. Becuse by the time your 60 you just think back and lugh. While living at the moment is not easy and filled with pain it passes or so i'm told my roade in life has been very hard. I look backat somethign and smile others with tears or anger still it is what it is. I'd love to write more but time is running short gata run

always -
breslevgirl

Wishful dreams

If you haven't read it maybe you've seen the movie "A walk to rember" is a book/movie about two Yong teens who fall in love except that the girl has cancer. I've never read the book but have seen the movie. Tnoight after a crazy and boring day i blew power to my house and my father got very very upset ( i blew out his speaks to opps) and walked away with the laptop. Deciding i wasn't going to care i turned on the desktop to watch a few movies. I was on youtube and was getting bored so i typed in "A walk to rember" i just finished watching the movie crying wishing i had that in my life. My world is crazy and messed up you can't imagine but this story made me think that even though its hard its up to me how it is. If i'm angery and sad, hurt all the time i will becom a bitter person but even through it all i smile and make the best out of it things could be a little diffrint. No its not easy nothing in life ever is but it can't hurt right?
We are now in the month of Elul so much is stuffed into one month pain, happnies, joy, teshuvah
but lets take a moment and reflect on everything find a quite spot like a lake or a feild and just stand or sit and think

all the best
breslevgirl

Dan ben yakov

Today is the yartizit of dan the son of yakov.

teshuvah

ok so 2 grate posts coming up. One on a teens life and another on teshuvah its the month of elul when the king is in the felid. So a post about that soon i hope plus more coimmg soon

Life in general

Ahh life a journey or a path that we all walk. We all wish that walking that path or taking the journey will be easy but it isn't, and thats what makes life so much more in way. I wish i knew what life was it would make this so much easier but our journey is not all the same.
Though i'd like to go on i'm stuck on what to say next so sned me your thoughts about life in the comments. I in the meantime will be doing some thinking and will write more about this later.

coming up The holy rode trip


goodnight-
breslevgirl

Blogging

Though blogging is not a new thing to me i thought I'd really start for once. blogging offers so much mabey this can help me with my grammar and spelling ( lol). But i know that I'm gana try for awhile and see where it goes.

Come journey with me through life and everything elts
breslevgirl