Why us always why?

These past few days have been ones of killing and worry, prayer. It now all has come to an end with the sad sad news of the death of the chabad shluchim and other jews in the Chabad house. What hurts me the most is two things first why didn't the Indein police/army go there first. Second their death and the promise of the lubavicher rebbe that any shluchim that went out would be safe from anything. Yes India was attacked But make NO MISTAKE the Chabad house WAS A TARGET. Thats right a target to kill jews why who knows. well mabey we do because were jews. You if you read this blog even if not often ( somehow i intend to post alot but don't) you know or realize my emunah/faith are shaky. Their shaky becuse of events in my life and what i go through its shaky for many reasons but this... This just shakes it up more. It pains me that i belive sure i don't make the decsions about this world but were all the prayers and tears for nothing? it truth i don't know this whole mess could be the beggning of a war but i feel like my davning made no difference. They said that as soon as the terrorists came in they killed everyone no mercey. Everythign is so mixed up to me no its not easy being a jew and beliving believe me. Even with my emunah issues. theres so much to write about this and so much more i want to put up.
like more about Fringe poems my feelings and more but tis is frist
mat Hashem avenge their blood
breslevgirl

At long last

Its benn ages since i last wrote why i don't write more often i don't know. Things are how thy are. On mpaths.com there's a artical one all should read about respect to learner but not to ther earner.
Things in school are ok they give me a glipse into a world where the words " yes i can" really mean them and where i c an succed. Frenids i'm getting there easy it never is but... Home when you stay home from school after starting i warn you don't brother even if sick its just hell. Yes i've been keeping up with fringe and my other tv showes wrtting to. the world spins but when will it stop no one knowes.
if only i could have a jewish frum bf i could be happy will it happen before i'm in the shiduich sence who knows another qustion i wonder.
Well i hope 2 write more tomrow or soon who knows

blessings
breslevgirl